Another night tearing myself to slp. Dunno why I've become so weak recently.. I need to get hold of myself!!!

Nowadays I fear weekends becos no work.

Contradicting, clueless, helpless..

The most familiar stranger..

Such strong bonding how to let go? I dunno how & I dunno how long it'll tk.

I'm wondering.. Do I need to tk twice the amount time tat I love u to let u go???

心好痛。 But I will let go..

Can someone sponsor me to go for a mind & heart transplant??!!!

Why mux things changed? Why mux people think differently?

The more I know the more distant I felt. It's a contradictory feeling. As much as I want a breakthrough & a direction, I wanted so much for nothing to haf changed.

Sometimes I oso need someone to teach me wat to do..

I know u're having a difficult time. Nothing I say or do would help at this time. It'll be a long week ahead.

But pls be strong!! We're all here for u, to help/support u throughout this period. Dun keep everything to urself. Shout for help when u needs someone there.

Tk care, hugs!!!

Having headache. :(

Life is really unpredictable. U could be in heaven one moment & next moment u ended up in hell. No warning & it Jux happens. No matter how reluctant u are. U Jux hafto deal wif it.

I dunno wat I'm doing is right or Jux living in the past. Seriously am so so reluctant to accept that things had changed & I am still trying to accept.

I dunno how to describe e feelings I am having becos it had nv felt so deep & pain before.

We were fine 4 mths ago but now we're on separate path. I dunno if we could haf a chance to work things again. I really love u alot & still misses u alot.

A fren kept telling me not to haf high hope & try not to bother. I oso wanto but I seriously dunno how to. How do I walk away from the person I love so much? How do I not bother about the person who I see her as the one & only?

I may seems strong on e surface. But I am actually feeling fucking lost & insecure inside. I dunno wat I shld do.

The only thing I'm glad is Tmr is Monday & work begins again. I won't haf so much time dunno how to kill & start thinking so much.

Guess I need to try to catch some slp now & stop thinking.

At this moment I wish I am blind so tat I can't see.. I wish I am deaf so tat I won't hear.. I hope I wld stop feeling..

Happy anniversary..

Pls let the breeze calms my heart & soul.. Let me find some peace & Jux do nothing..

Finally I'm not occupied wif work. Becos I'm officially on leave. Supposed to be excitedly awaiting to go chalet wif family. But I'm Jux so scared now. Becos when I'm not occupied, all e emotion will come attack me.. Only starting work next Wednesday. Shit! I Jux wish time pass faster!!

I didn't know 3 weeks can seem so long.. This is really suffocating & I hope I haf the will power to sustain till end of e mth. Many times I Jux wanted to text u but I held back. Checking ur fb several times each day trying to see hows ur life been. Each time the feeling of me being out of ur life feels stronger..

I'm clueless of how r u doing.. Feeling helpless.. Feels like u're slowly drifting further away & I could only stood still & do nothing.

Mayb u tking these 3 weeks as a trial. If u realized u're able to move on without me by end of the mth den u've got ur answer tat there's nothing holding u back..

Mayb as days go by.. U find tat u're slowly getting ready to move on. But I wld Jux stood still here. I'll Jux try to stay strong & drag myself to move on by end of e mth..

Like u said before. Wat is meant to be will be. If u're happier leaving then I wish u best. U're not at fault, I won't blame u. It's Jux tat we're not in-sync anymore..

I know u've tried. But if we're not meant to be, I won't force u.. It's painful but I wld learn to let u go & move on. I'll free u from commitment to pursue watever tat makes u happy.. Cux u deserves it..

I miss u...

Today she finally told me tat she wanto put a stop to this r/s.. I see it coming, I wasn't surprise.. I Jux hafto respect it.. But it's Jux sad tat things hafto become e way it is now..

We been thru a lot, we thot we're ready for e next stage.. But guess this is a wake up call for us.. For us to face our differences & issues in this r/s.. Everything hafto come to a pause now..

I had no idea tat I'm such a selfish person in ur opinion.. I din know tat I haf so many flaws tat u can't stand..

I know u dun like I always late or nv stick to meeting place.. I really did try to change.. Things went on smooth for awhile but I dunno why i'll do it again & make u angry.. Not only u angry but I oso angry wif myself.. Why can't I Jux do it right? Why mux I always make u angry. No wonder u feel tat I nv bother to change.. I dun blame u either..

There are so many issues we nv get to iron out.. It's like a time bomb, waiting for things to happen.. Now it does..

I didn't know tat I'm making u so tired in this r/s.. I'm sorry.. Sorry for making u go thru all these.. I really didn't know..

Guess wat I can do for u now is to respect ur decision & let u do watever make u feel better..

Pls take care my love..